So Infanttile
by Sir Weston
Summary: Thanks to an annoyed wizard who looks like an infant, all the park employees have been turned into babies! Well, not all of them. High Five Ghost not only has to find the wizard and make him turn his friends back, but he also has to take care of them! Oy!
1. Chapter 1

**So Infant-tile**

**Wow! Yet another Regular Show fanfiction! What's wrong with me? I don't know. I also have no idea how I came up with this idea. Usually I'm doing something relevant or do some real thinking. Not this time. Anyway, since Fives is my third favorite character, I decided to give him a chance to run the story. Enjoy my strange imagination.**

**PS: My favorite characters are in this order: Rigby, Mordecai, High Five Ghost, everyone else. Everyone else goes in this order: everyone else.**

**DISCLAIMER: I wish I owned Regular Show. But I don't.**

**Chapter 1 – Oh Baby!**

It would be an understatement to say that Mordecai and Rigby caused quite a bit of trouble. Every week something new happened that would nearly kill everyone. And if that didn't kill them, Benson threatened that he would. This was mostly because they often did things they weren't supposed to. Like playing mini golf in the house.

"You're up, Mordecai," Rigby told his friend as they teed off.

"Eager to lose, huh?" Mordecai scoffed, putting his ball down. He concentrated on his shot, then hit the ball as hard as he could. It soared through the air, bounced off a picture, and then crashed through the window.

"Oh crap!" he cursed, rushing outside.

"Show off!" Rigby called, "I can do that too!" He hit his ball straight at the window and it too sailed outside.

"Where'd our balls go?" Mordecai asked as they headed outside.

"I dunno, I was just copying you," Rigby confessed.

They went to the side of the house where they broke the window. Lying on the ground was an infant in a blue robe. He had two large bumps on his head and was unconscious.

"Oh man!" Mordecai gasped, "We must have hit this poor baby in the head with our golf balls!"

"Aw man!" Rigby cursed, "That happens every time we play golf! Better bring the poor little guy inside and make sure he's not dead."

Mordecai carefully picked him up and carried him inside. When they came in they saw Benson, red with anger.

"What is going on here?" he growled, "Why is that window broken? You better not have been playing golf in the house again! And why do you have that baby?"

"We found him outside," Rigby explained, "His mother probably forgot him or something."

Benson paused. "Well, what do you plan to do?" he asked them.

"I don't know," Mordecai confessed, "What do you usually do with lost children? Bring them to the lost and found?"

Benson sighed with annoyance. "You call the police, stupid," he said, "Tell them you found a missing child. Duh."

"I knew that!" Rigby lied.

As Mordecai picked up the phone, Skips, Pops, and Muscle Man came in. "Oh joy!" Pops exclaimed, "A young child! How delightful!"

"What's with the baby?" Skips asked.

"We found him," Rigby said simply.

Just then there was groaning and the infant started to stir.

"Hey!" Mordecai said, "He's waking up!"

They all gathered around as the baby opened his eyes. He blinked once then looked at them all. "Hey!" he yelled in deep, adult voice, "What are you all doing? Let go of me! Put me down!"

Surprised, Mordecai let go and the "baby" fell to the floor.

"Hey watch it!" the baby growled, "What are you trying to do, kill me?"

"Whoa!" Muscle Man gasped, "That baby has a man voice!"

"What did you call me? I'm not a baby! I'm a powerful wizard!" the wizard baby growled, "I'm so sick of everyone thinking I'm a baby! You're the last straw! No longer will I be a baby! I'll turn all of you into a baby!"

Rigby scoffed. "You can't do that!" he said.

"Oh yeah?" the wizard asked. He dug into his robe and brought out a wand that was in the exact shape of a cigar. He started chanting and lights started swirling around.

"What's going on?" Benson exclaimed as he started to shrink.

"What's he doing to us?" Rigby shouted, his voice getting higher pitched.

"I think he's stealing our lives!" Skips yelled, "Look! He's getting older!"

Before their very eyes, the infant started growing taller and older until he stood before them as an adult no older than forty years of age.

"That's not all that's happening!" Mordecai realized, "We're all turning into!" But he didn't get to finish his sentence as smoke swirled around them all, choking them. They couldn't see anything. The only thing they could hear was the horrible laughter of the wizard and their own screams as they became more and more high pitched.

Suddenly, there was a flash of light and the mist cleared. The wizard stood before them as an adult, cigar in his mouth. He laughed. "Enjoy your patheticness, you babies!" he taunted. Then, still laughing, he flew from the house.

"What was he talking about?" Benson asked. Then he gasped. His voice was so high pitched now, it sounded childish.

"Benson!" Rigby exclaimed in an equally childish voice, "You're a baby!"

"So are you, Wigby!" Mordecai pointed out, unable to pronounce the "r" in Rigby. "I think that wizard turned us all into babies!"

**I bet you all saw that coming, but I'm going to say you didn't! Did you all notice a certain someone was missing? But don't worry, he'll show up in the next chapter, when they start to realize the full extent of what has happened. As always, please review as soon as you're done reading so I know how I'm doing. Because if you don't, not only will I not know what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong, but I'll also be very sad.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! I'm finally gonna update this! Ain't that grand? Where were we? Oh yes, everyone was just turned into infants (except for a certain someone.) Let's see what happens next.**

**Oh, also, IN YOUR FACE, REVIEWER! I AM UPDATING! Anyway, here you go.**

**Chapter 2 - WHAT THE HECK?!**

As Mordecai, Rigby, Benson, Pops, Skips, and Muscle Man crawled aimlessly around (their minds had also been slightly reverted back to that of an infant's,) High-Five Ghost had been just coming back from the snack bar after secretly raiding it. He hated having a secret obsession with sweets, just as much as he hated sneeking around devouring them. But he couldn't help it, so he often snuck out to steal some goodies.

He was just coming back from doing this, munching on a donut, when he entered the living room. Being a small floating ghost, he didn't immediately see anyone, and was confused.

"Hello?" he called in that ghostly, wavering voice of his.

"Fives?" Minnie Muscle Man called out. His voice, like the others, was higher pitched.

"Muscle Man?" High-Five called out, a little worried. He looked around, not seeing anyone. Then he looked down. He dropped his donut in surprise.

"What the heck?!" he cried out, floating over to them, "What happened to you guys? You're all babies!"

"We can see that!" Benson Baby growled, "We got turned into babies by a wizawd! You have to stop him, Fives!"

"Me?" Fives exclaimed, taken aback, "Why me?"

"Because we're all babies!" Benson snapped, "I don't think we can do much when we're babies, do you?"

High-Five had to admit he had a point, but he still didn't like it. What was he supposed to do? He didn't know what this wizard looked like! How was he supposed to stop him, much less turn his friends back to normal?

"Well, Fives?" Muscle Man said, "Ya gonna do it, bwo?"

"Uh... y-yes?" It was more of a question of reassurance than an answer, but Benson would take it.

"Good," the boss said, "He turned us this way about a minute ago. You should still be abuhl to catch him! He's wawering a bwue wobe and a stupid hat like a wizard!"

"Ok," Fives replied, nodding, "Don't worry! I'll get him!"

He quickly floated from the house as fast as he could. He raced through the park, looking for any signs of the wizard. Sure enough, he came upon him about halfway between the house and the front gate. Frowning, Fives raced at him as the wizard laughed about his latest triumph.

"Those fools!" the wizard was saying, "They should've known better than to mess with me! Now they'll be babies forever!"

"You!" Fives roared, startling the wizard mid rant, "You're the one who turned my friends into babies? Well turn them back now!"

The wizard let out a maniacal laugh to rival that of Michael Crawford's. "Why would I do that?" he asked, "Now that I have drained your friends, I feel more powerful than ever! But why stop there? I think I'll drain the years of everyone in the world! Then I will rule it, and the universe! Ha!"

Fives growled and lunged forward, but the wizard teleported behind him. "You think you can stop me?" he laughed, "A poor sad ghost? I would drain you too, if you were alive. But you have no use to me. Begone!"

The wizard let out a bolt of lighting from his fingertips, then, without waiting to see if he hit the ghost or not (he didn't) teleported away somewhere else, where Fives couldn't find him.

Cursing under his breath, Fives headed back to the house to check on the others and explain what had happened.

"Guys," he called when he entered the house, "I'm sorry, but I lost him." He came into the living room and gasped.

Before, the others had some resembelance of their former intelligence. Now, they were crawling around, drooling, and giggling as true babies.

**Sometimes even I don't know what I'm talking about. Sorry for the short chapter. At least I updated.**

**So, what will happen next? Anyone want to take a guess? (You're wrong!) R&R, and I'll try to update as soon as I can. I'm quite busy these days, so I can't make any promises.**


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